Midlife Housemates: Matching Your Lifestyle

Living together is not only a coming of age thing among college or twenty-somethings in an attempt to save on a deposit. Actually, more and more individuals in their 40s, 50s and older are finding the financial and social value of house sharing. Either due to divorce, companionship seeking, or merely because of the economic necessity to divide increasing living expenses, getting a housemate in later life is a smart decision.

Nevertheless, there can be more at stake when decades of independent living experiences lie behind you. You manage your kitchen area just as you like it and your peace and quiet, as well as privacy, is probably more precious to you than it was when you were young.

There’s no such thing as a perfect housemate at any stage of life, but when older it certainly requires a different approach than the casual searches of your twenties.

It is not simply about getting someone who pays the rent on time, it is also about getting someone whose rhythm of life is in line with your own. With a little clear thinking and patience in the process of search, you can convert a room that you do not use into an income and who knows, maybe even a long-lasting friendship.

Here’s how to approach it, if your not already familiar with sharing.

Find Your Non-Negotiables

Before you even begin to advertise yourself as a housemate or as a landlord, browse listings to see what sorts of housemates are available. You need to be brutally honest with yourself about your habits. Middle-age is a time when we tend to be more stuck in our ways, and that is all right, but we have to be clear about it.

Begin by enlisting your deal-breakers. Do you work at home and need to be quiet most of the day? Are you an early bird or a night owl? Consider your social battery. In case you enjoy a chat on a regular basis, or even having friends visit, a reclusive introvert will find it hard to live around you.

On the other hand, as a landlord you may not want a housemate who keeps on having visitors around. Three deal-breakers tend to pets, smoking and cleanliness, but there are many more personal things you probably need to mention. Being able to clearly understand what you are and are not able to tolerate will save you time and embarrassing moments.

Why More Mature Housemates Matter

To find a housemate who is in a similar life stage, consider leveraging your existing network first. Share on your own social media or talk to friends and co-workers; a personal referral can also lead to a potential share. See why Eva and Sarah decided to flat share.

Also, seek out sites that are specifically for adult housemates or silver sharers. Local libraries, cafes or even interest groups (such as hiking clubs or book clubs) can be goldmines too as can be community boards.

Interestingly, there are also some individuals who connect using niche apps. Just like you might turn to a reading app to discover a particular genre of book that suits your taste, you can rely on specialized platforms to connect with a specific type of person who is more like to meet your needs or interests.

These platforms are designed to simplify the search process and narrow down options, making it easier to find exactly what you’re looking for. FictionMe, for example, is a great illustration of this concept, offering users a focused way to explore and engage with individuals who share a passion for storytelling or creative writing. Theatre, sports and craft clubs can also be a good way to find a potential housemate with a common interest.

Ask The Right Questions

Once you’ve found suitable candidates there is no substitute for a face-to-face meet up, either in a neutral location if you’re going to look for a place together, or at the home of the live-in landlord. Either way these meetings need to have a purpose. Beyond the standard questions about employment and rent, you need to dig into lifestyle compatibility to choose a housemate effectively.

Inquire into their daily routine. When do they get up and at what time do they go to bed? What do they do at the weekend? It is also best to ask about their previous house shares or accomodation. Why do they want to relocate, if that’s what they are doing? It is also useful to talk about hobbies. If they enjoy quiet activities like reading free billionaire novels on their tablet, they might be a better fit for a quiet household.

Tackle difficult subjects head-on in advance of living together. Question them on how they resolve conflicts. Are they the ones who like to negotiate right now, or do they require time? It is important to know their communication style, so as not to perceive some slight irritation as a big resentment.

Establishing Ground Rules and Boundaries.

The last, but most important step is to get everything written once you have settled your mind to go ahead. This is not about distrust, it is about understanding.

Prepare a lodger agreement which includes:

• Money: How then are rent and bills divided? Who purchases community products such as toilet paper and dish soap?
• Chores: Do you have a roster or is it clean-as-you-go? The thought of a cleaner should be considered in case the budget permits it because it is an issue that can cause a lot of friction.
• Guests: Does it allow partners, kids, or friends to stay over?
• Noise and Privacy: Accept quiet times and closed door consideration.

Having these rules set out from day one protects both of you and ensures expectations are aligned to help you choose a housemate that sticks.

Creating a Harmonious Home

Keep in mind that the ideal housemate does not necessarily have to be your best friend (although he/she may turn out to be one). They simply must be a person with whom you can live in harmony and respect. You can make this new life stage of life with a little due diligence and boundaries so that it can help you enjoy this new chapter of your life.