A Journey from Urban to Countryside Coliving

Anton and Morgane met and each found a ‘life-partner’ at a Stockholm co-living development and are applying their learnings to something similar in the UK. Nick asked them about their experience of the K9 Co-living development and what advice they’d give to others.

Q1. How did you find K9 Stockholm? What brought you there?

Anton: I had just come back from my first Burning Man experience and staying at an Open Doo collective house called The Canopy in Oakland, having experienced co-living for the first time. When I returned to London I was searching for something similar, but couldn’t find anything. I was invited to move to Sweden and help launch K9 in 2016. I worked on the launch, the interior fit out and on setting the culture for the new ‘conscious coliving’ experience.

Morgane: I spent a semester abroad in the US and stayed some years, where I met a Swede and returned to Sweden with him. That relationship broke up after 7 years in Sweden, so in my early thirties I found myself needing to rebuild my life. A friend and co-worker told me about the place and how it had a great environment, where I could think through what to do next and how I wanted to live.

Q2. What was it like when you first arrived at K9?

Morgane: The first thing was a visit to their website. It was quite basic and had a simple form, simply asking why you wanted to live like this. I got invited along to a group meeting, where 10 or so others also interested in moving to the coliving space were also invited.

We were invited to the ‘Zen room’ and sat on the floor discussing what it was like to live there. It was more like a chat than an interview and they told us virtually nothing about the rooms or prices; that came later. It was very much about the culture and the people living there. There was one guy who was kind of leading the recruitment and couple of other residents for us to meet. It seemed like a very cool place and was just what I needed. A new challenge; a new way of living.

Q3. What contribution to the community did you have to make?

Routines were very individual. People were just living their lives, going off to work each day and coming back home after work. There was 100% freedom to have your own life.

There were some expectations, however. When I first joined, the founders were onsite and guided things a bit. When they left it became freer and to be honest, I preferred that. You could join a team focused on things like safety, operations or communications, but didn’t have to. Personally, I loved it. I liked having responsibilities. It felt empowering, even if the democratic decision-making process could be a bit slow at times with 50 people consulted.

Anton: I think the transition to resident responsibility was important – is important. You need that participation and shared experience to create a bit of ‘social capital’. When we were planning the launch we were determined to set a culture but also set on passing the baton to the residents.

The thing is people have more time at certain times of their lives than others, so over the cycle of their stay they can come in and out of the teams according to the time they have and their inclination.

Q4. You’ve both talked about the need to reset your lives at this time. Can you tell me more?

Anton: I think we were both in transition, as indeed were many people. It was a good way to find a new home, a new life. It was a valuable place for me to heal and recharge after a difficult period in my life. The best part was meeting Morgane and finding the person I’ll spend the rest of my life with.

Morgane: I joined thinking it would be a transition. I wanted that. I loved the whole concept of the place. I felt like this is how we should live, how I need to live.

Q5. So following this experience, what do you feel the ideal co-living development should consist of?

Anton: For me it would be 15-20 people, that is enough to have some culture, with two kitchens, one larger and one smaller. It would have a flexible lounge space and larger private bedrooms, to allow room for a desk and some storage. It would definitely have a garden, both as a meeting space but also as somewhere to grow our own food.

I’d be looking for some level of community adhesion, with a common idea about how we want to share, some rituals like a weekly meal, a mastermind and a weekly dance; so that we’d feel more connected and that we’d be in each others’ lives.

Morgane: Experiencing Selgars for a few years now has changed my perspective, I think. For me the ideal would be 20-25 people and definitely in a place close to nature. I now realise how important nature is. To have the ability to plant things and grow your own food.

I think I am more attached to the idea of people staying a long time and growing as a community. Having space is probably the most important thing though.

Q6. So how did you arrive at Selgars in Devon? Was it the first stop after Stockholm?

Anton: I first came back to London, but Morgane stayed back in Sweden at first. I started looking around but really couldn’t find any properties that were suitable. We lived in London for a few years and then we struck gold. We found Selgars, a country house hotel that, and negotiated a lease with an option to buy. For decided that for part of the year we would live as a coliving community and for the other part we would host events and retreats.

Morgane: I was raised in a relatively privileged suburb of Paris, but I would say it was a ‘normal’ upbringing. Life’s options were outlined to me and I could choose. So when I arrived at K9 it really blew my mind. I realised that this ‘shared living’ option just didn’t exist in the minds of most people. It really challenged my thinking about everything and I liked that. It was a sort of playground to explore things in life.

I think there is a great deal of fear around sharing, which is a shame, as you get so much more back as well.

Q7. So you see co-living as a kind of experience?

Anton: For us at K9 it was a very special experience. It wasn’t a usual situation in that the founders where philanthropic investors, interested in creating a new way of living; profit was not the main driver of the project. We learned a lot from K9.

We have taken those lessons and brought them to Selgars in some ways, albeit in a different form. Our winter coliving has attracted people aged 35-65 and has created a warm, cosy atmosphere where we share meals and co-create activities to do together both on the land in in the main Mill House.

We encourage people to embrace the spirit of winter; to embrace a slower more communal and more rural way of life.

Q8. So has coliving been a success?

Anton: For Selgars as a business it’s worked better than we could have hoped, bringing in additional revenue through winter coliving and attracting the right sort of people, largely through word of mouth. Our hybrid coliving / events venue approach could be a great solution for other large country houses and estates. These nature locations can have lower staff turnover and be more economically resilient. If someone in the Cohabitas community has a property like this and is curious about adopting this model for their land I would be happy to give advice.

Morgane: At a personal level, Selgars works brilliantly for us. But we have adjusted what we do. When we first started the co-living, I was adamant that we’d live with the other co-living residents, but in our second year (this year) of offering this we’ve moved into a cottage next to the main house and only come in for some meals. We prefer this.

Q9. That seems like a bit of a contradiction. Is it?

Morgane: We know it does, but it feels right now. I guess it comes down to everyone being aligned and we have slightly different needs now than the people who come and stay in the coliving. We can empathise with them, as we lived in K9 for 3 years and were looking for something, but maybe we’ve found what we are looking for, besides finding each other, so we are focused on growing this now.

Footnotes and details.

Find out about the history of K9 Coliving and How it works

www.enchanted.org.uk 3-7^th July 2024

www.selgars.org/lifeatselgars – join our next coliving season

You can read more about Morgane’s experience of K9 Stockholm Coliving in her book Have your cake and share it. Available via https://www.lifeonfifth.com/book

What is it like to stay at a seasonal co-living place?